David Schuldberg
September 27, 1950 - March 16, 2023
Dave was diagnosed with spinal stenosis about the time of our reunion. After the surgery, he had a hard time moving his limbs. He has been struggling with PT and losing ground ever since then. Very recently his doctors realized that he actually had ALS which the spinal issue masked.
He is on hospice care now, relieved not to have to try and get better, or feel guilty for getting worse. He even says he is happy. But he would love to hear from old friends, letters or e-mails. David is exhausted and just about completely paralyzed, but he has enjoyed some reminiscing with us and a few new stories.
Wick and I are here for the weekend to say goodbye. Shan and David are dealing with this sad turn of affairs calmly and so very lovingly. Their whole community here seems ready to lend a hand when needed.
With love,
Gay and Wick (February 19, 2023)
Dave died yesterday afternoon, at home. Shan said he was at peace, with his family around him and his daughter Larke reading Jewish prayers for the dying.
Shan's address
Shan Guisinger
4624 Aspen Drive
Missoula MT 59802
Shan says there will be a memorial service for David in June.
We sent all your replies to Shan. Reading them we realized how much we really were all making better people of one another.
All the best,
Gay and Wick Nichols (March 17, 2023)
Obituary from the Missoulian, March 23, 2023
David Schuldberg, 72, of Missoula, Montana passed away on March 16, 2023 after a prolonged illness.
David was born on September 27th, 1950 to Jane and Irving Schuldberg and was raised in Seattle, WA with his sister, Jean Schuldberg, now residing in Chico, CA. He graduated from Lakeside High School in 1968. A National Merit Scholar, David studied psychology at Harvard University, graduating summa cum laude in 1972.
David received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of California, Berkeley in 1981 and completed postdoctoral research in psychology at Yale University. While at Berkeley, David met his partner, Shan Guisinger. They married in 1983 and moved to Missoula, Montana in 1984.
David began his career as a professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Montana where he worked for 36 years, retiring in 2020. Throughout his career David was a beloved mentor to graduate students, educating them in research methods, psychological testing, ethics, and clinical psychology and practice.
David possessed a sharp intellect and endless curiosity, particularly about creativity, chaos theory and health behavior. His many contributions in psychological research included issues about mental health in rural and Native American communities, psychopathology and creativity, and nonlinear dynamics and chaos theory.
David was cherished as a contributor in service to both the campus and greater Montana community. His wit and wisdom brought much joy to those fortunate to work or share friendship with him. Last year he, Shan and Ruth Richards published Chaos and Nonlinear Psychology (Oxford University Press) on using nonlinear dynamical systems theory in psychology.
David was very devoted to his friends, and to his pizza, convening backyard parties on a regular basis where he held forth while producing artisanal pies for them in his Italian-crafted oven.
David is survived by his dear Shan, and their two wonderful children, Larke (Dan Trifone) of Portland, OR and Alex, of Seattle, WA. The family invites those who would like to celebrate David to the University of Montana on June 15, 2023. Instead of flowers please send donations to Montana Public Radio, the ACLU, or an organization of your choice.
I add my thoughts in sadness and appreciation to our exchange of news and shared grief. I am glad that Shan and David had loving time together in the past few weeks. I am also thinking about how much we, including Dave, have shaped and transformed each other for the better. Thank you.
Catherine Badgley
Thank you for letting us all know. So sorry to hear this, glad his family was there and his daughter was reading him Jewish prayers. Blessings to them all.
Sandy Bonder
Some memories of you.
Huddling against the cold with you in a cottage by the shore on Cape Cod with mattresses piled against the door.
Wide-ranging conversations around the kitchen table in Jordan J.
Learning that "oot bloot" was the sound that neurons make when they die.
Acting as an air-traffic controller as you descended from a bad acid trip.
Coauthoring a paper with you on Rapaport's categories of Rorschach blog responses, which we could only understand under the influence of mind-altering drugs.
You telling me to scan Axis II of the DMS to see if I recognized any description that matched that of my crazy-making girlfriend at the time. (I found her.)
I miss you buddy and am sad we didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I thought that we had more time.
James Boster
Ah so sorry to hear this. Recalling Dave, I hear his voice softly empathetic to all. Peace and love to his family.
Claire Ducharme
Thank you for letting us know and for staying close to Dave and his family.
Much love,
Jill Einstein
Like everyone else, I am sad and a little shocked. I had just sent him a note of my memories of him from JJ. Please add me to the list of his admirers and pass it to his family. What a mensch!
I have some lovely memories of our time with you—the time you cut the back of your hair to be a cop of some sort. It was a real shocker, given your signature ponytail. And your room was only first runner-up in the untidy room sweepstakes. I hope you are seeing beautiful skies and spending time with those who love you best. I am sad for you and them.
Julia Frank
Sorry to hear the news. Condolences to his family and friends.
Shanti Fry
Very sad news.
Thanks for letting us know and for supporting David's family.
What a great spirit and presence Dave had.
We're all better people from having known him.
Lewis Finfer
So sorry to hear. Our thoughts are with Shan and his family. What a great spirit!
Some of my strongest memories of David are improvising at the piano on piano and recorder. Just played a St. Patrick’s Day concert yesterday at the Princeton Public Library (I play whistles, recorders and sax). Improvising on “Never Mind the Strangers” made me think of those times.
Peter Guarnaccia
I am so saddened by this news. I was not prepared for how quickly his life has ended. I find myself grieving with all of you and with his family.
Thank you for sending the prayer.
Love to all.
Andy Hedin
I am overwhelmed by the beauty of all your messages. An inspiring farewell and testimony to David.
Love to you all,
Nancy Hornberger
Thanks for sharing this news and these evocative pictures. David was an exceptional combination of lighthearted and deeply serious. He set a good example for us.
Much love,
Bob Houghteling
I am adding my condolences to this thread. It seems to have happened so quickly. I am so grateful to Gay and Wick for their being there for Dave and Shan and for keeping us each informed. Xoxo
Marcia Hulley
He lives on in our memories
The Mourner’s Kaddish
Kaddish is a 13th century, Aramaic prayer said during every traditional prayer service. Kaddish means ‘sanctification’ in Aramaic and it is related to the Hebrew word Kadosh, which means ‘holy.’
Of the five variations of the Kaddish; the best known is the Mourner’s Kaddish. The prayer never mentions death or dying, but instead proclaims the greatness of God. By reciting it, mourners show that even as their faith is being tested by their loss, they are affirming God’s greatness.
Traditionally, the prayer is said only when there is a minyan, a quorum of 10 Jews. So that one can feel a part of the community even while grieving. The mourner must remain part of the community even as his or her instinct might be to withdraw.
A person mourning a parent says Kaddish 11 months. Historically, Kaddish was said for only 30 days for a child, spouse or sibling; many now say Kaddish for 11 months when in mourning for any family member. Kaddish is also said each year on the anniversary of the death (Yahrzeit) and at Yizkor.
The rhythmic cadences of Kaddish are soothing to us both in mourning and over the years as we say it at Yahrzeit and at Yizkor to remember our loved ones. We say the prayer as a community because none of us is alone in mourning.
Hebrew text:
יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא.
בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:
אבל: יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא.
לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָאוְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
עושה שָׁלום בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל
Transliteration:
Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba b’alma di v’ra chir’utei; v’yamlich malchutei b’hayeichon u-v’yomeichon, uv’hayei d’chol beit yisrael, ba-agala u-vi-z’man kariv, v’imru amen.
Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varach l’alam u-l’almei almaya.
Yitbarach v’yishtabah, v’yitpa’ar v’yitromam, v’yitnasei v’yit-hadar, v’yit’aleh v’yit’halal sh’mei d’kudsha, b’rich hu, l’ela min kol birchata v’shirata, tushb’hata v’nehemata, da-amiran b’alma, v’imru amen.
Y’hei sh’lama raba min sh’maya, v’hayim, aleinu v’al koi yisrael, v’imru amen.
Oseh shalom bi-m’romav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu v’al kol yisrael, v’imru amen.
Translation:
Magnified and sanctified is the great name of God throughout the world, which was created according to Divine will. May the rule of peace be established speedily in our time, unto us and unto the entire household of Israel. And let us say: Amen.
May God’s great name be praised throughout all eternity. Glorified and celebrated, lauded and praised, acclaimed and honored, extolled and exalted ever be the name of thy Holy One, far beyond all song and psalm, beyond all hymns of glory which mortals can offer. And let us say: Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, with life’s goodness for us and for all thy people Israel. And let us say: Amen.
May the One who brings peace to the universe bring peace to us and to all the people Israel. And let us say: Amen.
Steven Lewis
He elevated us all.
The NJ hitchhiking sign brought a smile to my face.
Frank Lonergan
What a fellow! What a friend!
He showed me how to be a better person.
He lives in my heart.
Charlie Marlin
On the day I die,
when I am being carried toward the grave,
don't weep. Don't say, He's gone. He's gone.
Death has nothing to do with going away.
The sun sets and the moon sets,
but they're not gone.
Death is a coming together.
The tomb looks like a prison,
but it's really release into union.
The human seed goes down into the ground
like a bucket into the well where Joseph is.
It grows and comes up
full of some unimagined beauty.
Your mouth closes here
and immediately opens
with a shout of joy there.
Rumi
Boogey on Dave!
With love.
Nancy Marquis
Thank you, Gay, for letting us know – I didn’t know Dave well, but remember him as a gentle and kind soul.
Love,
Barney Rush
Thank you, Gay, for the sad news. And thank you for supporting Dave and Shan through this difficult time.
Susan Stout
Thanks for passing the news on. It is nice to read that he was able to die at home with his family. I'm sure he will be missed by family and friends. I will always remember him from our days at the Jordans as a voice of compassion and reason in troubled times.
George White
Very sorry to read this. Thanks for the photos to help us remember Dave in much simpler days.
Jeff White